Daniel's Piano Song

Two years ago on Memorial Day, May 28th, 2012 my brother Daniel died by suicide and went to live in heaven.

At age 16, Daniel was diagnosed with schizophrenia and went through his first psychotic episode. He loved to play the piano, and he was gifted in the ability to hear a song on the radio, find the tune easily, and play it without any sheet music. He also liked to create his own songs. He had one song in particular that he composed and would play almost every day for years to an annoying degree.

After he passed away, an e-mail was forwarded to my parents from one of his friends.  It included a cell phone recording of the song that he always played. In the e-mail, Daniel told his friend about a time that he was in the hospital and found an open piano in the patients’ common area. He sat down and started playing his song, when after a while he noticed that all of the patients had stopped talking. He wrote that the room fell silent and there was a sense of peace. From then on, whenever Daniel was anxious he would play this song.

Below is a surprise film that I made as a gift for my parents that is set to a re-recording of the song that Daniel used to play. After the film is the original cell phone recording of Daniel playing.

Daniel's Piano Song from Esther Boller on Vimeo.

I am so thankful for my friend Jonah Baker, who did a beautiful job of re-interpreting and recording the song for this film. You can check out his work here.

Thank you to everyone who has said such kind words of support to my family and me.  The amount of love that has been shown these past two years is really beautiful and has been so appreciated.   

Scholastic Art Portfolio 2 - Storytelling

Here is my second Scholastic Art Portfolio. This portfolio focuses on my photography/film making and how I combined my work for storytelling. I will be posting my individual entries that received awards later this week as well.

I have many new garments and photo shoots that I worked on over Christmas break. I'll be posting them once my last college application is finished. This is my last week of deadlines for colleges and then I'll be able to take a break. It feels like I've been working and talking about them non-stop since December, and I definitely can't wait to take a breather!

Art Portfolio 2:

Category 1. Where I don't Feel Alone - film making

Where I don't Feel Alone from Esther Boller on Vimeo.

Category 2. Dreams Are Sails - film making

Dreams Are Sails from Esther Boller on Vimeo.

Category 3. Bedtime in the Forrest - Photography

Category 4. The Life of A Sailor - Photography

Category 5. In Search of Neverland - Photography

Category 6. Freezing Silence - Photography

Category 7. My Own Set Of Wings - Photography

Category 8. Baby You Can Drive My Car - Photography

Artist Statement:

I take the process of using fashion design, photography, and film making to tell narratives that are either imaginary or derive from my own personal experiences and memories. At the heart of each piece is a personal story. I take the grief, hardships, and pain that I have gone through, and I try to turn them into works that people can relate to. It is my desire to address the grief and pain that I’ve experienced, but at the same time I don’t want that to be the focus of my work. I want people to step away and feel a sense of renewed hope, not remembrance of their own suffering.

Almost all of my works are self-portraits, and because of this each image and story is very personal. I use self-portraits much like a visual diary. Diaries capture the written words explaining a memory, but I use photography and film making to capture visual memories and emotions. A lot of my pieces are inspired by childhood imaginations and playing pretend. One of my brothers, before he died, was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. The mental illness caused psychotic episodes, and during those times I had to grow up faster than I would’ve liked. I don’t regret any of the experiences and hardships that I’ve gone through, because they have helped shape who I am today, but sometimes through my artwork I like to create imaginary adventures of childhood that I feel I have missed.

I also work a lot with fashion design as well. Clothing and costume design is such a big part of both of these areas of my art. Clothing has the ability to completely transform an image or a movie into a different place in time. It helps enhance a certain mood that I try to portray and capture through an image; and I use clothing that I design and make to transform myself into different characters.

One of my sources of inspiration is characters from movies and books. I love to watch movies and think up continuing outfits for a character once the movie is over. I’ll think of a character and what they would wear next if placed in a different era of time or a changed environment. For instance, what would Luna Lovegood (a character from Harry Potter) be wearing if she was living in the West during the 1900s and then went on vacation to the East Coast to visit friends. I think of how her wardrobe would change depending on whom she was with and where she was going. While I’m making clothing for photo shoots, I’m also thinking of my surroundings; how I can use design and colors in my garments to mimic the mood that my environment creates.

My work is so interconnected that I don’t distinguish a line between fashion design and film making. They all work together cohesively to tell an imaginary or personal story. The pieces I chose for this collection best show my work as a whole; how I use fashion design and sewing craftsmanship, photography and film making for storytelling. I hope that people are able to connect with my work and relate it to their own personal situations and give them a sense of renewed hope for life.

Creating stories through fashion design and imagery is my love and passion. When I get an idea it’s something that stays in my head until I get it out by creating it. I love the entire process that goes into creating each story and work of art; and I know that this passion will continue for the rest of my life.

Art Portfolio 2012

I finally have my portfolio together! Yay! It feels so good to finally have everything in one folder. It's taken me forever just to collect and photograph everything. Here are some of the sewing/photography/video works that I have done over the past three years.

Artist statement/statement of purpose:

I work with a lot of different mediums which are all connected, but my main love is Fashion Design. I love the feel of working with the different textiles when sewing and seeing a blank piece of fabric be turned into a 3-dimensional piece of clothing that someone could wear. I’m a very visual artist so when I’m creating I’m constantly thinking about who would be the wearer and where the garment would be worn.

I also work a lot with photography and film making as well. Clothing and costume design is such a big part of both of these areas of my work. When I work with each medium I don’t look at them as separate, but something that’s interconnected to tell a story. Clothing has the ability to completely transform an image into a different place in time, or help create a certain mood that I was trying to capture in a story


Masking Tape Dress: 2012.

Foil dress: 2010.

Draped hand sewn gown: 2010.

Hand beaded lace gown inspired by leaves: 2010.

Vintage style, handmade piped swimsuit with boning: 2012. The pattern is hand drafted.

Pleated bow dress with pockets in the side: 2012. Design and pattern are my own.

Vintage inspired dress with covered buttons down the back: 2012. Design and pattern are my own.

Fully lined chiffon keyhole dress with hidden pocket in the side: 2012. The pattern was hand drafted.

Fully lined oversize collar jacket: 2012. Hand drafted pattern.

Chiffon piped gathered dress: 2012. The pattern is Hand drafted.

Floral cotton pocket jumper dress with buttons in the back: 2010.

Fully lined baseball jacket: 2009. (this was actually my first jacket pattern that I ever drafted).

Navy sailor coat with white piping detail: 2010.

1950s inspired bow coat: 2011.

Couture red feather cocktail dress: 2012. Pattern was hand drafted.

Vintage style chiffon necktie blouse: 2012.

Hand painted print carnival dress with a bow waist: 2011. Pattern was hand drafted.

Vintage inspired winter wool coat with white piping detail: 2011.

Vintage inspired cotton button swimsuit: 2012. Hand drafted pattern.

Hand painted floral boots: 2012.

Chiffon dress with lace inset and gathered detail: 2012.

Gathered pocket dress with horizontal pleats 2012. The pattern was hand drafted.

Peach jersey tank top with lace details: 2010. (This was the first blouse that I ever made without a pattern).

Self portrait photography: 2011 - Hear the Silence.

Self portrait photography and handmade lace dress: 2011 - In Search of Neverland.

Self portrait photography and handmade sailor dress and coat: 2010 - The Life of a Sailor.

Self portrait photography: 2010 - Late for the Ball.

Self portrait photography and handmade jersey summer dress: 2010- Bedtime in the Forest

Self portrait photography and handmade sewn coat and hand crocheted scarf: 2012- In the Dark.

Self portrait photography 2012: - Fire in my Bones.

Self portrait photography: 2012 - Writers Block

Self portrait photography: 2011 - Baby you Can Drive my Car.

Self portrait photography: 2012 - Pretty Bird.

Portrait photography: 2012 - A Drop in the Ocean

Portrait drawing: 2010.

Self portrait drawing: 2012.

Portrait drawing: 2010

Life drawing sketch: 2012.

A short film: 2011 - Hide'n go Seek.

Short Documentary: 2011 - Cookie Baking Weekend.

A self filmed video: 2011 - Dreams are Sails. (this was actually the first film that I ever made).
Dreams Are Sails from Esther Boller on Vimeo.

A self filmed video: 2012 - Where I don't Feel Alone. This film is dedicated to my brother Daniel.

Where I don't Feel Alone from Esther Boller on Vimeo.


Thank you so much for following my art work over the past three years. I've really appreciated all of your support and kind words of encouragement (:

I hope that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!