The Life of a Dreamer

Hello! You're probably all wondering where I've disappeared to. I'm afraid I went away into the time consuming world of college applications. It took over so much of my life, but I finished my last application about two weeks ago and it feels good to finally be done now! So far I've been accepted into The School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Savannah College of Art and Design, and Parsons the New School for Design. I'm still waiting to hear back from The Fashion Institute of Technology, New York University, and Pratt Institute of Art and Design.

Ok enough college talk, this is a photo shoot of my lovely childhood friend Katie. Katie is absolutely beautiful and I had so much fun taking pictures and hanging out with her that day! It also felt really nice not having to set up my tripod for once. Lately I've really been inspired by anything that has to do with sailing. This may have something to do with watching Master and Commander and constantly looking at Arthur Rackham beach illustrations. I've been thinking of what a woman sailor would look like and how one could transfer that same nautical/sailor theme mixed with a soft feminine look. I've been playing with this idea a lot and you'll probably see many more dresses from me expanding with this same theme.

^the epaulets are made from using a hot glue gun, felt, tassels and other designed trims.

I made the dress that she's modeling from Vogue's Rebecca Taylor 1152 pattern with my own minor design adjustments. I've used this pattern multiple times and I really love how easy of a dress it is and yet it still looks really intricate. I normally draft my own sleeves for this pattern, so I don't know how the directions are when it comes to describing the sleeves, but everything else is well instructed.

I looked at other sewing reviews for this dress and most of them said that it was an intermediate in skill level. Personally, I think that you could still make this dress even if you're a beginner. Just go slow and take the steps one at a time. The thing my mom taught me when I first started sewing was that an apron (easy) pattern is no different than a jacket (more advanced) pattern. There are just more steps to a jacket than there is an apron so you might have to take it slower. Overall I'd definitely recommend this pattern if anyone has been thinking about using it.

If you've used this pattern before let me know what you thought of it and if you have photos up somewhere post a link! I'd love to check out your wonderful sewing skills!

Be Still & Know

I made this dress a while ago for a photo shoot a couple of years ago. I just recently did some changes to the design to make it more modern and wearable. I changed the sleeves from loose bell sleeves to a more fitted look by gathering them between the neck and underarm using a shirring technique. I also changed it from a floor length maxi dress to an asymmetrical skirt. I think that it makes it more modern, but yet still has the 1900s inspired style.

(Press play while looking through photos).

It's been 8 months ago today since my brother died. My brother died on Memorial Day Monday, so this past weekend has been really hard since today is also a Monday. This song and it's lyrics have given me comfort today. It reminds me of Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God..."

I hope that the song gives you comfort in anything that you're going through as well.

"Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know that I am here
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know

When darkness comes upon you
And covers you with fear and shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name

If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes
Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know

And when you go through the valley
And the shadow comes down from the hill
If morning never comes to be
Be still, be still, be still

If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am

Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know I am."

Scholastic Art Portfolio 2 - Storytelling

Here is my second Scholastic Art Portfolio. This portfolio focuses on my photography/film making and how I combined my work for storytelling. I will be posting my individual entries that received awards later this week as well.

I have many new garments and photo shoots that I worked on over Christmas break. I'll be posting them once my last college application is finished. This is my last week of deadlines for colleges and then I'll be able to take a break. It feels like I've been working and talking about them non-stop since December, and I definitely can't wait to take a breather!

Art Portfolio 2:

Category 1. Where I don't Feel Alone - film making

Where I don't Feel Alone from Esther Boller on Vimeo.

Category 2. Dreams Are Sails - film making

Dreams Are Sails from Esther Boller on Vimeo.

Category 3. Bedtime in the Forrest - Photography

Category 4. The Life of A Sailor - Photography

Category 5. In Search of Neverland - Photography

Category 6. Freezing Silence - Photography

Category 7. My Own Set Of Wings - Photography

Category 8. Baby You Can Drive My Car - Photography

Artist Statement:

I take the process of using fashion design, photography, and film making to tell narratives that are either imaginary or derive from my own personal experiences and memories. At the heart of each piece is a personal story. I take the grief, hardships, and pain that I have gone through, and I try to turn them into works that people can relate to. It is my desire to address the grief and pain that I’ve experienced, but at the same time I don’t want that to be the focus of my work. I want people to step away and feel a sense of renewed hope, not remembrance of their own suffering.

Almost all of my works are self-portraits, and because of this each image and story is very personal. I use self-portraits much like a visual diary. Diaries capture the written words explaining a memory, but I use photography and film making to capture visual memories and emotions. A lot of my pieces are inspired by childhood imaginations and playing pretend. One of my brothers, before he died, was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. The mental illness caused psychotic episodes, and during those times I had to grow up faster than I would’ve liked. I don’t regret any of the experiences and hardships that I’ve gone through, because they have helped shape who I am today, but sometimes through my artwork I like to create imaginary adventures of childhood that I feel I have missed.

I also work a lot with fashion design as well. Clothing and costume design is such a big part of both of these areas of my art. Clothing has the ability to completely transform an image or a movie into a different place in time. It helps enhance a certain mood that I try to portray and capture through an image; and I use clothing that I design and make to transform myself into different characters.

One of my sources of inspiration is characters from movies and books. I love to watch movies and think up continuing outfits for a character once the movie is over. I’ll think of a character and what they would wear next if placed in a different era of time or a changed environment. For instance, what would Luna Lovegood (a character from Harry Potter) be wearing if she was living in the West during the 1900s and then went on vacation to the East Coast to visit friends. I think of how her wardrobe would change depending on whom she was with and where she was going. While I’m making clothing for photo shoots, I’m also thinking of my surroundings; how I can use design and colors in my garments to mimic the mood that my environment creates.

My work is so interconnected that I don’t distinguish a line between fashion design and film making. They all work together cohesively to tell an imaginary or personal story. The pieces I chose for this collection best show my work as a whole; how I use fashion design and sewing craftsmanship, photography and film making for storytelling. I hope that people are able to connect with my work and relate it to their own personal situations and give them a sense of renewed hope for life.

Creating stories through fashion design and imagery is my love and passion. When I get an idea it’s something that stays in my head until I get it out by creating it. I love the entire process that goes into creating each story and work of art; and I know that this passion will continue for the rest of my life.

Scholastic Portfolios and Announcements

Well Scholastics is now officially over which means that I have a life again! I still have one more school to apply to so I'll still be running around a lot this week trying to finish the application by the deadline, but after that I'll be free to actually post more things and finally....sew again!

I entered two portfolios in Scholastics this year and I found out Sunday that they both received regional Gold Portfolio Titles and I received several individual awards as well. I have been worried about this all year and it feels so good to know that both portfolios have been accepted. Now I'll be worried until March when I hear back about the National results, but it feels good knowing that it at least received a regional title. Here's my Scholastic fashion portfolio and artist statement that went along with it. I'll be posting my other portfolio later along with my individual entries that received awards.

Fashion Portfolio:

1. Frayed Layer Gown (which is now for sale over in my Etsy shop).

2. Hand Beaded Leaf Gown.

3. Masking Tape Dress.

4. Foil Dress.

5. Grey Polka Dot Party Dress.

6. Button Down Print Dress

7. Vinyl Zipper Jacket.

8. Red Feather Dress.

Collectively, my body of work tells a story through fashion design. I work primarily with fashion design and photography, but my main love will always be the design of clothing. I love the feel of the different textiles and the process that goes into making each garment. I enjoy starting with an idea, sketching it out, constructing a pattern, sewing, and then watching a blank piece of fabric transform into a 3 dimensional piece of clothing that can be worn. What I love about fashion is that it’s an art form that can be openly expressed every single day through the clothing that people choose to wear.

I’m a very visual person so when I’m creating I’m constantly thinking about the person who will wear the garment and where it will be worn. For instance, one source of inspiration for me are characters from movies and books. I love to watch movies and think of continuing outfits for a character even when the movie is over; what they would wear next if placed in a different era of time or a changed environment. For example, what would Luna Lovegood (a character from Harry Potter) be wearing if she was living in the West during the 1900s and then went on vacation to the East Coast to visit friends. I think of how her wardrobe would change depending on whom she was with and where she was going.

I also work a lot with photography as well, and clothing plays a big role in my art. Clothing has the ability to completely transform an image into a different place in time. It helps enhance a certain mood that I try to portray and capture through an image. In a way, my work is a lot like costume design because of this. My photography work is mostly comprised of self-portraits. I use clothing to transform myself into a different character. When I have a garment that is inspired by a certain era in time my photo shoot also takes on an inspired look from that era.

My work is so interconnected that I don’t distinguish a line between fashion design and photography. When I have a photo shoot idea I also have a garment idea to enhance the mood of the photograph. After I make a garment, I’m thinking of the person who will wear it and that inspires a photo shoot idea. These areas are not separate, but combined they work together to tell a story.

I chose the pieces in this collection because they show the craftsmanship and technique at pattern drafting, sewing and tailoring skills that I have worked hard to develop over the years. Hours of time have gone into creating each garment, and many of those hours of hand stitching aren’t even seen, because they are a part of the inside structure. For example, the hand sewing done to the inside seams of a garment are not shown, but it makes a huge difference in the quality and longevity of a garment. The inside craftsmanship and quality of each garment is just as much as an art form to me as the overall outside design.

Fashion design is more than just a hobby or even a career path for me – it’s my love and passion. It’s more than just something that I want to do, but it’s something that I have to do every day. I’m happiest when I’m sewing and creating stories through fashion design. Life can be mundane at times, and I want to create clothing for women that bring a sense of joy and new beginnings to her when she puts on my clothes.

Frayed Layer Gown

This week is the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards deadline which means that I have been scrambling around trying to finish everything in time. Every year it's like this, but this year I've had college applications to finish as well so there has been even more frantic running around than usual. Here's a gown that I made this past week for Schoalstics and I just finished it a couple of days ago.

Lately I've been experimenting a lot with the grain line of fabrics. A grain line is the direction of the thread in fabric. When cutting out the pattern pieces of a garment one usually wants the grain lines to be going straight. This is to make sure that the garment doesn't stretch while sewing, which could completely alter the fit of the clothing. As I was experimenting and playing around with the grain line I found that when it’s cut diagonally it creates a fraying effect without the fabric completely unraveling. I loved the look and texture of this technique so I wanted to create a garment that would play off of this effect. I originally also wanted to ombre dye it, but when I did a test try the color of the dye was not what I wanted.

(If you click on the images it will be less blurry. I'm tech-challenged so I still haven't figured out how to make images larger without it blurring on blogger).

I hand drafted the pattern using the measurements of my dress form. I wanted to create different shapes to show the movement of the frayed layers so I designed a slim fitted bodice on top with a flared out, mermaid skirt. The mermaid skirt was created by using the same technique that would normally go into making a circle skirt. Each layer was sewn onto the dress starting at the bottom and then working all the way up until the top. Each layer had to be measured and sewn to the skirt correctly in order for the layers to match up in the back where an invisible zipper is. The zipper was hand sewn to the dress and so was the lining around the zipper. There is boning in the bodice for stability and the gown is fully lined with a crinoline layer in-between the lining and the actual gown. This helps make the skirt appear fuller. Overall the dress took around 50 hours to make, and I used over ten yards of fabric (which as you probably guessed I got from Wal-Mart. I don't know what I'd do without that store).

I have only two more days to finish up the little details for all the deadlines, but then I can't wait to show you guys all the new work that I have made. Hopefully this next coming week I'll have time to put them up once Scholastics is over.

I hope your New Year is going well so far and filled with lots of fun adventures!

A New Year

I don't know about you, but I'm definitely ready for a change of seasons! It's been a really long and trying year and I'm ready for a change.

This year's resolution is different than all the other ones I've made in the past. In the past it was about accomplishing a goal, or trying to work towards something for my future. This year's resolution is totally different though. I want my resolution to try to make each day the best that I can make it.

So often I become sidetracked by what I want to be doing in the future that I forget about what I'm doing and should be focusing on right now. It's really hard to do that at times. Especially while I've been applying to schools and trying to figure out what to do for my future. And let's face it - it's fun to think about the future sometimes and what I've been dreaming of it. But if I'm truly pursuing what I love right now the future will play itself out and turn into that dream. I forget that a lot.

So this year my resolution is to take everyday as it comes and focus on what is right in front of me instead of the future. It's going to be a process, but I'm going to at least strive for it.

What are your New Year's day resolutions?! I want to hear them!

P.S. New garments and photo shoots are on the way! I've been so busy with applications that I haven't had time to post them, but they're on their way!