There are several reasons for it, but mostly a lot of hard things happened that made it difficult to write about anything else. But I want a voice again so I'm trying to re-find my words this summer.
I'm currently back in NYC interning for the break and I'm so thankful. I became very burnt out towards the end of this year and the idea of New York was something that gave me a lot of hope.
I've been living in Brooklyn the past month and had a solid hour subway ride each time I had to go into midtown so I did a lot of reading. I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love and there's this part in the book that made me pause - it's that moment when Liz is with friends, and she's asked to give one word that describes herself perfectly as a whole.
I'm still trying to figure out what my word is. I think it constantly changes for everyone depending on the season we're in. Right now my word is "heal." It's more of a word that I'm trying to get to. To be healed. I don't know what it looks like but I'm here trying to get that this summer.
My most healing moments so far have been just the nights I've spent sitting on the stoop of my apartment listening to Matt Corby and hoping by osmosis to soak up every bit of energy the city has floating in the air. I don't know if I feel fully healed, but I'm at least in a different place than before.
To quote a beautiful book, "I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." And that's enough of a change for right now.
(The above collage is a project from this past school year. I'm still editing it, but I'll post more from that project soon).