Sunday, September 27, 2020

Last Post & New Adventure – Esther Andrews Bridal

Hello old friends,

It feels strange writing this post after starting this blog over 11 years ago when I was only 14-years-old.  I remember starting this blog and thinking no one would ever read it.  Now 25-years-old, I have met some of my truest friends because of this blog and for that I am grateful.  Thank you for growing with me and keeping up with my work over the many years of change.  

After being inactive for a while now, my heart is feeling a beautiful sense of closure to officially write what will be the last post on this blog.  And I am excited to leave you with something new: I am now growing-my own namesake bridal knitwear brand – Esther Andrews

I started working on this brand last year, in the fall of 2019 after moving out of NYC.  Z and I were staying with his family in Atlanta while we caught our breath healing from the stress and hustle of our life there.  I had been working as a knitwear designer for several labels at the time.  I even got to design and work with a few of my childhood dream labels, which that 14-year-old self would be over the moon about.  But a dream of what an industry is... is not the reality. And I saw a lot of reality while I was working. And I got burnt out, and angry by that reality, and I needed to leave.

So Z and I left the city.    

In Atlanta time shifted and moved much slower.  I had time to cook, eat, and sleep again.  I had time to think and daydream.  I could sit outside and let my mind wander.  And it wandered to Indiana.  To my knitting tree.  That maple with the perfect branches that I would climb at age 8 with my skeins of yarn and knitting needles.  I wanted that life again.  

I slowly started working on a business concept that was centered around that.  I started knitting again.  I saw a need for winter bridal attire that was warm and still flattering for brides of all ages and body types.  So I started sketching and researching.  I took my time and over the course of 9 months my only art was my business plan.  I didn't want to rush the process.  I wanted to define what my intentions and values were first.

I learned that kindness and sustainability were the most important elements.  Sustainability to me is taking care of those you love- treating people and our environment with the care and respect they deserve.  I saw too many cases of underpaid sample makers, hand making luxury garments that sold for $4,000 and being paid cents on the dollar for their art that they'll never have their name on.   I saw first hand the piles of fabric waste that were taller than the seamstresses sewing the pieces. I saw my industry, an industry that I had always loved and admired, not taking care of their own people.  

I became really angry and cynical throughout those years in NY.  I was making art that didn't have a purpose, because I couldn't think of one.  Slowly, thankfully, I have been coming out of that cynicism, and have been moving to a place of purpose again with this new business, and trying to grow something that hopefully brings a little bit of change.  What I have written on my website is the first few steps of my new voice.  I hope that you'll continue to follow with me on this journey as I grow this new phase of life. 

I will keep this blog going, but my presence will be inactive.  Sincerely thank you for all of the encouragement, kind words, and friendship over the years. I am sincerely thankful for the beautiful butterfly-effect-gifts this blog has given to me <3 

Below this note are all of the online places to stay in touch.  I hope that you will comment with your own social handles so that I may follow you back in return :)

Sincerely grateful,



Instagram @estherandrewsbridal

Instagram @estherbollerandrews

Pinterest:  Esther Andrews Bridal

Photography,  Ruth Yaro
Branding, Esther Clark

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Wedding Day: Part 1

 I'm so excited to finally share photos from Z and I's wedding from earlier this summer!  On one of our early dates we decorated a Christmas tree together with clouds made from cotton and flying boats from balsa wood and tissue paper. It was the most fun I had ever had on a date. When I said how happy I was with the tree he said so sincerely, “We’re not just decorating a tree here, we’re creating a world. I’m lucky you’re the kind of person I can create worlds with.” I never thought I’d have someone who would want to create worlds with me. 

Here's part one of our latest world!  More to come with explaining all the creating that went into it  

(Vid by Jordan Studdard)

All photos Fiona Y Eduardo

If you don't wanna wait for part two, DesignBoom wrote an article about our day which you can read here!  

You can also see all the behind the scenes on my Insta stories!


Monday, December 4, 2017

Ethereal Light: The Look Book

These garments and the thousands of hours I spent hand-knitting them were inspired by the process of healing and designed to give light to an area that is dark.  This darkness took me 4 years of "umms and stumbles" before I could even say it.  When I was young, I was sexually abused by my older brother. He suffered from schizophrenia and he later committed suicide.

Conquering these traumas weren’t easy; it took a lot of amazing people to knit me back together and bring me out of darkness, which is why I designed this collection inspired by light: to remind those of us who have been abused that they there is light after darkness and that they are not alone.  

I'm very thankful to these people, one of them being my beading collaborator Hannah Buechler who crystalized these pieces with hundreds of sparkles.  Also, I’m incredibly thankful to Swarovski Crystals for sponsoring my collection and giving even more light to this story!

Photography:  Franklin Headen.  Video:  Jordan Studdard.  Model: Mattah Parker. 

My heart in sharing my story and this collection is to give hope for those processing a similar abuse.  I contemplated for a long time whether or not to share this, but In the end, I needed to; I know there are those of us who feel more broken than whole - but wholeness does come again!

Healing is not a sad face emoji in the comment section. It takes a lot of pain, and hardship to say the truth out loud to someone you trust.  The fear is overwhelming at first, but it becomes less of a terror each time.  

The best thing that people did was listen, and remind me that I was not defined by my situation.  That there were better things ahead.  That it may not come right away, but eventually, after a long night, there would be a glimmer of light.  And eventually, those dark memories would be drowned out by light.

Friday, December 1, 2017

Wind and Asteroid Ashes

A few of my illustrations and flats from this past year.  The full look book coming next!  
xoxo Esther 

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The Terrace on 14th St.

Hello, fellow web-wizards and friends. Currently writing to you underground, from my 45min morning commute to work. I moved to a quiet, little brick place in Astoria, NY, that my fiancé, Z, and I call The Terrace on 14th Street.  We want our wedding on this little terrace, so we're spending our free days whimsifying the place––a fleet of rocket ships and a room with celestial magic.

I started this blog when I was 12 and I'm now 22 and I can honestly say that all the good things that have happened in my life have come from friends like you who believed in me enough to just keep reading.  A sincere thank you to those who have taken an interest in my journey.

The last time I wrote on this blog (March 🙈) I was sleeping two hours a night,  20lbs under weight, and losing hair in clumps.  Since graduating in June, I'm happy to say that I'm now 10lbs overweight, sleeping a balanced 7-9 hours a night, and my hair is growing back at a steady rate.  

I’m finally at a spot where I’m excited to share again––how I’ve grown, how I'm growing.  I'll be posting again on the reg, starting with these illustrations from my senior collection.  

Also, Z's a really amazing guy.  Can't wait to share more about him ^_^ 

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Sparkly Things

Over the summer, I looked at a lot of broken glass.  It was comforting and beautiful to see light reflect and bounce off of something considered incomplete.  The summer, was also a huge healing process for myself.  I felt a little broken at the time, but by the end of the summer I was a little more pieced together and shards of glass really didn’t seem like it fit this upcoming chapter.  

I didn’t end up going with broken glass.  

I went with something a little more whole.

I didn’t want to look back at this time of my life and see my art and remember it as broken. I didn’t want anything I created to give off this feeling. I wanted something more whole, something more healing. So, instead of using broken pieces of glass, I starting dreaming up the idea of using real crystal.

It all started with meeting an amazing artist here at SCAD. Hannah (this girl is filled to capacity with creative energy). I’ll be talking about her in later posts fo sho. This girl's heart is beading.  I mean, she live it, dreams it, breathes it.  She'll stay up for hours till 3am beading away, not because of a deadline that's making her stay up to these sunless hours, but because she just gets so wrapped up in the processes and love of a finished piece.  We soon became friends and talked about working together.  I wanted to use what she was most naturally gifted with.

With that, I decided to no longer use glass. and reached out to the lovely people at Swarovski Crystal. I’m incredibly thankful to be working with them, who were so kind to sponsor Hannah and I in this collection. These crystals the most sparkly, radiant things I've ever seen and I couldn't be more excited to work with such materials!

And now for your eyes some sparkly things!

For more vids and swatches for dayzzzz, check out my gram! 
instagram: estherboller 

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Avoid the Chiropractor with these Fancy Knitting Maneuvers

Are you sacrificing your physical health to crank out knits? Are you tired, sore, or just plain struggling? Do not fear!

These five, fancy maneuvers will spare your shoulders a trip to the chiropractor, and will basically make you the coolest cat on the block—which brings me to the first maneuver. My personal favorite, The Cool Cat. This diddy was taught to me by my mentor, Sachi. You need to doo daaaaa CAT! Much like a feline, the goal here is to be as cuddly as possible with that post. Really dig your shoulders in there.
The next pose is a classic. It keeps you from slumping and tensing up. It keeps you balanced and upright, is very good for posture—and it brings you back to a simpler time with a peaceful mind. I’m talking about The Monkey!
If your posture doesn’t improve, don’t sweat it. The monkey isn’t for everyone. You might just be in need of something more dynamic, something more powerful and concentrated. You might be one of the rare few who practice the sacred art of The Power Stance. The Power Stance is an ancient technique passed down to us from the greats. Are you willing to carry on its legacy?
Those are the three major maneuvers passed down by my mentor, Sachi, and adapted for my comfort. Feel free to mix them up, match them, altar them and invent your own—but before you go grab your needles, wait. There are two more maneuvers, exercises designed to recover those muscles and build up strength.

Surprise the Tiger is a necessity, an absolute must for any knitter’s arsenal. Begin by squeezing your hands together tightly. Then stretch them out as wide as you can. Imagine you’re in a great forest, and among the shades of green you see orange and white stripes peaking out behind a tree. Surprise the Tiger! Stretch those tired tendons.
La Mallet requires a little more prepping and more technique on your part, but, you guys... mastering this technique will really help you in the long run. It’s definitely helped me. Place the mallet in your hand and lightly, ever so lightly, slowly, let your wrist hang forward and then, just as slowly, pull it back up. For best results, repeat this process 50 times every day.

Well, ladies, I wasn’t entirely truthful. There is another technique. I considered keeping it to myself, for mastering it was a grueling process. It is tiring. It is difficult and it will push you to extremes you thought not possible. But it’s so rewarding and so fun…I just couldn’t not show you. I present to you, ladies, The Worm:
This is the technique of techniques. Master this and you may consider yourself a graduate of Esther Boller’s embarrassing school for oddly satisfying knitting exercises. I hope you enjoy rubbing your backs against posts and locking in your power stances. By all means, go out, do The Worm, and surprise some friendly Tigers while you’re at it. 👩