Avoid the Chiropractor with these Fancy Knitting Maneuvers

Are you sacrificing your physical health to crank out knits? Are you tired, sore, or just plain struggling? Do not fear!

These five, fancy maneuvers will spare your shoulders a trip to the chiropractor, and will basically make you the coolest cat on the block—which brings me to the first maneuver. My personal favorite, The Cool Cat. This diddy was taught to me by my mentor, Sachi. You need to doo daaaaa CAT! Much like a feline, the goal here is to be as cuddly as possible with that post. Really dig your shoulders in there.

The next pose is a classic. It keeps you from slumping and tensing up. It keeps you balanced and upright, is very good for posture—and it brings you back to a simpler time with a peaceful mind. I’m talking about The Monkey!

If your posture doesn’t improve, don’t sweat it. The monkey isn’t for everyone. You might just be in need of something more dynamic, something more powerful and concentrated. You might be one of the rare few who practice the sacred art of The Power Stance. The Power Stance is an ancient technique passed down to us from the greats. Are you willing to carry on its legacy?

Those are the three major maneuvers passed down by my mentor, Sachi, and adapted for my comfort. Feel free to mix them up, match them, altar them and invent your own—but before you go grab your needles, wait. There are two more maneuvers, exercises designed to recover those muscles and build up strength.

Surprise the Tiger is a necessity, an absolute must for any knitter’s arsenal. Begin by squeezing your hands together tightly. Then stretch them out as wide as you can. Imagine you’re in a great forest, and among the shades of green you see orange and white stripes peaking out behind a tree. Surprise the Tiger! Stretch those tired tendons.

La Mallet requires a little more prepping and more technique on your part, but, you guys... mastering this technique will really help you in the long run. It’s definitely helped me. Place the mallet in your hand and lightly, ever so lightly, slowly, let your wrist hang forward and then, just as slowly, pull it back up. For best results, repeat this process 50 times every day.

Well, ladies, I wasn’t entirely truthful. There is another technique. I considered keeping it to myself, for mastering it was a grueling process. It is tiring. It is difficult and it will push you to extremes you thought not possible. But it’s so rewarding and so fun…I just couldn’t not show you. I present to you, ladies, The Worm:

This is the technique of techniques. Master this and you may consider yourself a graduate of Esther Boller’s embarrassing school for oddly satisfying knitting exercises. I hope you enjoy rubbing your backs against posts and locking in your power stances. By all means, go out, do The Worm, and surprise some friendly Tigers while you’re at it. 👩